The other day I was in a rush to go to my friend's place, but I had to get some money first because I like it when I have some cash in my wallet, and I thought, I might as well just go and buy the pizza that we were going to need for the video we were shooting that afternoon. So with that in mind, I was kind of thinking over what my afternoon was going to look like and what things I couldn't forget. I am aware that when I am thinking, I tend to frown and just look very aggressive. It usually helps me, because people stay away from me, which means I get to think and ponder without any disturbance. That is, until I reached the station where I was going to a cash point and the supermarket real quick before getting on the bus. Without warning, this guy just POPS up RIGHT in front of me, with both arms spread as if he's ready to hug me and he goes "Turn that frown upside down!"

At this point I am just confused. Do I know this person? I must know him, otherwise why would he just step in front of me and tell me to smile? He is kind of attractive, so I think, if I know him and he knows me, I must have recognised him by now... but I haven't. This means I don't know this person. But still, he is pretty good looking and has funny flippy hair and he made me stop walking and now we are just standing in front of each other and I am kind of trying to say something that isn't awkward. Mind you, this all happened in about 1 second.

Just as I am about to say something clever - I wasn't sure what exactly my words were going to be, but I knew I wanted to be witty and funny about the situation - I noticed something in his hand. ERROR ERROR, CODE RED. A clipboard. This guy is holding a motherfucking clipboard. I look to the side and see that on the other side of the pavement is another guy wearing the exact same thing as this guy, also holding a clipboard, and he is stopping people that are walking in the opposite direction. My mood goes from "Alright this guy is cute, I might as well say something nice" to "Fuck you, you are NOT taking my money or my time away from me, I need every little bit I can get!" so instead of being witty and funny and clever, I take a step aside and say "I need to go buy pizza." and walk away. I hear this guy laugh and he sort of yells after me, that he'll wait until I get back.

This means that whilst I am getting some cash money and buying the pizzas, I am constantly thinking of this guy that is waiting outside, ready to strip me from everything I have with his charms and just overall adorableness and I just do NOT know how to say that I am not interested. I am thinking of saying "I am not interested" or maybe "I am a member already!" but I'm not sure what he's trying to sell me, so saying that would be a risk. I could also do the hand thing where I just hold my hand up to make him stop talking and moving and just walk around him and run to catch my bus. Or I could do the thing that I usually do; do NOT make eyecontact, rush past and pray they don't see you slash are talking to someone else.

With my pizzas and filled wallet I walk back to make my way to the busstation. My frown is BACK ON and I hope this is going to scare him off at least a little. I check to see if he's still there. Fuck, eye contact. The one thing I promised myself I wasn't going to do, make eye contact. He immediately makes his way over to my side of the pavement and just as he is about to say something with his cute and charmy smile, my voice goes in overload and I actually scream at him. I scream. Everyone on the busstation that I was walking towards to must have heard me as I yelled "I DON'T HAVE TIME I HAVE TO CATCH MY BUS!" and just powerwalked away from him. In his turn, he yelled back. Instead of laughing, or just generally being confused, he decides to yell back. "NO NO NO" is what comes out of his mouth, which is both comical as it makes people around him laugh, but I can sense a hint of disappointment. Sorry brah, but my money is my money and I needz it for ma rent.

To carry on, I am powerwalking with a guy yelling at me as I rush away and make my way onto the busstation. People are looking. They heard me scream that I had to catch a bus so if I stop walking now to actually wait for my bus which isn't there yet, they are going to judge me. So without thinking, I just go for the first bus I see and get on it, just so I can be out of the situation I am in. I am also aware that the clipboard guy can see me walk onto the station and also get on a bus, so I just HAVE to pretend that I was running for one of the busses that just pulled up. In the amazingness of amazing things that happen to me sometimes - not often, just once in a while - I actually get my ass on the bus I was supposed to get on. I am aware that this must have cost me a whole load of karma points which I saved up after helping an old lost couple find their way around the city.

I have yet to find out how to properly say no to clipboard people. I don't want to be rude, and I definitely don't want to scream and lie to them, but what else can you do, really?

Labels: I am socially awkward